Eid for our sisters behind bars…
 
Every day in prison was emotional, partly because of missing one's loved ones. But on Eid it was something else because it's a day that one normally would spend with family. I would think of how my family was spending that day knowing that they were also extremely sad and hurt. I especially missed my baby son and being sad that he was spending his first 2 eids without my husband and me.  
 
It was also difficult knowing that my husband was going through the same because of being in prison. I tried to reassure myself by making dua that we would soon be reunited and would with Allah's permission spend our next eid together. I would start eid in prison with calling my family. Then we had eid salah with our female Muslim chaplain who tried her best to make everything as nice as possible 4 us. The salah was followed by some reminders, presents and food which all meant so much to us. Some women couldn't control themselves and started crying. I never wished the situation I was in for anyone and I was sad for the other sisters being there but at the same time having them there with me made me feel less alone.  
 
Alhamdulillah a few years have passed now and I have just spent another Eid with my beloved husband and 3 beautiful boys.
 
Eid under a control order…
 
Eid is meant to be about visiting family and friends and enjoying the celebration. But my Eid was far from this.
 
Firstly my preparation for Eid wasn't shopping around for gifts, it was calling my solicitors everyday to contact the Home Office to get permission to pray the Eid prayer and to see my relatives. I'm not allowed to see any relatives or friends who have not been given approval through the Home Office's clearance system. However on eid they give me an exception, if i want to see my relatives I have to provide their name, address and the exact route I take to their home. If any stranger to me enters their home whilst I am there, I have to note their details and devise it to the home office. If I want to see friends on eid, I have to get approval days before from the home office first. And the Home Office is very reluctant to approve me seeing non relatives.  
 
And all this that I have said can only occur if my friends and family live within my boundary which has only a 2 mile radius from my home.  
 
Like every other day I still had to report to the police station in the middle of the day and stand for an hour waiting to sign a piece of a paper.
 
To end it off, my celebrations are cut short by a curfew imposed on me for 12 hours every night, which start at 9pm. If I don't comply to even a single one of their stringent rules for eid day I can be prosecuted and face up to 5 years in prison. So try to imagine Eid in my shoes.
 
 
Eid for the wives…
 
 
“We'd have to book the visits beforehand and hope that it'd be on Eid day or at least the day after. On Eid day itself alhamdulillah the brothers were allowed extra time out to pray salah and then to eat with the other brothers. They would also be able to call home, as the family we eagerly waited for the phone call as it was the only way of giving salaam on eid unless we had a visit.  
 
We often take it for granted that we can send our loved ones messages and mass texts on Eid. Eid visits were different, as you'd see all the other families from near and far and the children all dressed up and even if it was the weekend after Eid that day would feel like Eid. Alhamdulillah we were able to see our relatives and spend time with them even if for about 90 minutes…”
 
“Every Eid I'm just crying and crying. The children do not go out, I don't have the strength to do anything.”
 
“Your Eid is not your Eid because you�re just thinking about him, you can't enjoy Eid or Ramadhan without your father, and it's on those occasions we remember him the most.”
 
“Eid is the most difficult and depressing time, the children are affected alot.”
 
“A family without a father is very hard, and every occasion we remember him, especially eid. We just have to make dua.. HHUGS has helped us alot, even the simple things they do, like send us cards and gift vouchers make a massive difference. We really need them and we can't pay them with anything except that we can make dua for them.”
 

Eid for the children…
 
“Now that my father is back, we know the meaning of the word family. No one looks at me with pity anymore.”
 
“I feel sad and lonely without my father.”
 
“This Eid the children had their father back, and we gave them a choice as to where they wanted to spend their Eid, they were overwhelmed with happiness, because it was something completely new to them. This year has been the best Ramadhan and Eid for them.”